Good Friend

In the name of Allah, Most Gracious, Most Merciful

Indeed the best speech is the Book of Allaah and the best guidance is the guidance brought by Muhammad(let peace be upon him). The most evil of matters is the innovated one. Every innovation is bid'ah. Every bid'ah is misguidance, and every misguidance leads to Hell Fire.

Words of Prophet Sallahu Alaihiwasallam in choosing right friend:

Abu Huraira reported: The Prophet, peace and blessings be upon him, said, “A man is upon the religion of his best friend, so let one of you look at whom he befriends.”
Source: [Sunan Abu Dawud 4833 , Jami` at-Tirmidhi 2378, Riyad as-Salihin :367 Sahih according to An-Nawawi]

Narrated Abu Musa:
Allah's Messenger (ﷺ) said, "The example of a good companion (who sits with you) in comparison with a bad one, is like that of the musk seller and the blacksmith's bellows (or furnace); from the first you would either buy musk or enjoy its good smell while the bellows would either burn your clothes or your house, or you get a bad nasty smell thereof."  [Sahih al-Bukhari 2101]


In his commentary of this Hadith, Imam an-Nawawi (RAH) said that the Messenger of Allaah (sallAllaahu 'alayhi wa salam) compared a good companion to a seller of musk and spoke of the virtue of having companions who are good, who have noble manners, piety, knowledge and good culture. Such are those who grant us from their virtue. And he (sallAllaahu 'alayhi wa salam) forbade us to sit with those who do evil, commit a lot of sins and other bad deeds, as well as with innovators, backbiters, and so forth.

Another scholar said: “Keeping good company with the pious results in attainment of beneficial knowledge, noble manners and righteous actions, whereas keeping company with the wicked prevents all of that.”

Bad companionship is detrimental to your religion.
Bad friends stopped Abu Taalib from accepting Islam whilst he was on his deathbed.
The son of Prophet Nuh, too chose bad company over his truthful father and was doomed.
Qarun and Haman were two bad friends of Firawn who gave him wrong advices .



YOUR FRIENDS REFLECT YOUR PERSONALITY..   By Nisaar Y Nadiadwala
There are two fine examples of a good friend and a bad friend in the Qur’an which goes unnoticed by many readers of the Qur’an. Qarun was from Bani Israel and not from the people of Pharaoh, yet he choose to desert his own people and opted to be doomed along with the Paraoh (Surah Qasas , ch 28, verse 76).
Qarun held a top position in the ministry of the Pharaoh, and naturally it was expected of him to be a source of benefit to his own people but rather he was among those who incited Pharoah against the Bani Israel, especially Moosa (a.s.). It was he who was among those who advised the Pharoah to kill the male children of Bani Israel and leave the females alive (Surah Ghafir ch 40, verse 24, 25) He was among those who incited Pharaoh to kill Moosa. Qarun and Haman were among those bad advisors who hastened Pharaoh to his own destruction. In the same Surah, the next ayat begins with a man from the people of Pharaoh, who too held a good position in the court, but the Qur’an testifies that he was a believer (Surah Ghafir, ch 40, verse 28). He advised Pharaoh not to kill Moses and kept on arguing on his behalf. The Quran records his arguments till 16 verses!
What kind of suggestions and advices your friends give you? Do they allure you to a new movie or introduce you to a Non-mahram or accompany you to a mall and insist that you buy branded mobiles, and dresses and shoes and blow away your money….? Or do they caution you from being immodest or discourage your from plunging into sexual adventures and being extravagant? If you can differentiate between a good advice and a bad advice then you are a good advisor for your own self.
The Qur’an highlights an essential quality of a good friend which can be used as a parameter in judging your friends. Open Surah Toubah ch 9, verse 71, and read it : The believing man and the believing women are wali of each others…….Wali is among the most misunderstood term by many Muslims. The Qur’an uses it for a ‘protector’ ‘a well wisher’, ‘a guardian’ and ‘a friend’. The wise verse further elaborates “They command that which is good and forbid that which is bad”. Do your friends command you to do good and stop you from haram? Rather I would turn the question in your direction and ask you “do you yourself qualify this test with regards to your friends”? When was the last time that you noticed that your friend is addicted to TV serials or watching movies or chasing girls? Do you possess enough courage like that believing man from the people of Pharaoh who dared to stand up for truth in spite of all odds against him?
Bad companions will discourage you, they will try to pull you down and yet continue to be with you pretending to be your will wishers. You will find many around you. If you refer Surah Ahzab, Surah 33, verse 12- 13, you will find a mentioning of such people too. They have a disease in their hearts. So at a crucial junction when the Muslims were busy in encouraging each others, they tried to demoralize them “farje’oo” they passed a word, “Return back to you homes” trying to cause fissures among the ranks of the Muslims. Do your friends discourage you from going ahead with good things? Or do you discourage your friends from going ahead in good things?
The Qur’an describes the plight of a person who will regret for being doomed due to wrong friends: Ah woe to me! I wish I had not taken so and so as my close friend…. Surah Furqan ch 25 verse 28.
Author:Nisaar Nisaar Y. Nadiadwala"
https://www.facebook.com/NisaarYNadiadwala/posts/968974263153271

And Finally a Dua  from “The Noble Qur’aan” to ever remember!

Ash-Shu'araa / The Poets Chapter 26: verses 83 to 87

رَبِّ هَبْ لِي حُكْمًا وَأَلْحِقْنِي بِالصَّالِحِينَ.
وَاجْعَل لِّي لِسَانَ صِدْقٍ فِي الْآخِرِينَ
وَاجْعَلْنِي مِن وَرَثَةِ جَنَّةِ النَّعِيمِ
وَلَا تُخْزِنِي يَوْمَ يُبْعَثُونَ

Rabbi Habli Hukmow wa-al hikni bis-saliheen. waja al-li lisana sidhkhin fil a’khirin. Waja alni min warazathi jannathin naeem. Wala thukzini yo’wma yubath’oon

[26:83] My Lord! Bestow Hukm (religious knowledge) on me, and join me with the righteous.

[26:84] And grant me an honorable mention in later generations.

[26:85] And make me one of the inheritors of the Paradise of Delight.

[26:87] And disgrace me not on the Day when (all the creatures) will be resurrected.

Allah has blessed me with many wonderful friendships throughout my life. Most have served as a comforting, healing balm that has pulled me through some of the more difficult times of my life. Others have created so much drama and turmoil that I couldn't cut them loose fast enough! I have friendships that have followed me from childhood until now, as I attempt to raise my own children, and I have encountered fresh, new relationships in the process of carving their own deep, meaningful connections. The Prophet  was known to have said, "When souls recognize one another, they will become friends, if not, they will simply part ways." [Muslim]

The Prophet  also stated, “A true believer is a mirror to his brother. He prevents him from any harm.” [Abu Daawood] We are in fact mirrors in some way of those we decide to take on as companions. I have been guilty of associating with individuals whose behavior is not worth mentioning, let alone imitating. I have suffered the consequences of those alliances. When left alone for a while after having departed their company, I would suddenly see the light and recognize them for the lying/undependable/deviant person they really were all along. But then also came the sobering realization that I might not be so different, as I had found something attractive enough in them to pursue an acquaintance, regardless of all the glaring, warning signs.

As believers, we are instructed to be careful of the companions we choose for friendship. Our friendships can draw us closer to our Creator or cause us to sever all ties of faith we have established. As with most relationships in this lifetime, we will experience blessings in some friendships, and trials through others. Just who are your friends? How do they affect the person you are or hope to become? What kind of friend are you?

The Peer Pressure that Never Ends

It doesn't matter if you are a high school student, university student, or working your way through the corporate world. Peer pressure is a never-ending presence that must be dealt with. Its face may change, but its goal is unwavering: to influence you by attacking your personal vulnerabilities. It may be the quiet urge to join your fellow students after a difficult exam at that party everyone's been talking about all week. Sure there will be drinking, smoking and free gender mixing, but you can still go and have a good time without indulging in all of that, right? Or maybe it's the feeling that you might fit in with your coworkers even better if just once and a while you joined them after work at their favorite little bar down the street. After all, there's no harm in a little socializing after work, right?

We all want to fit in. In our human desire to feel comfortable in our surroundings with others, we must always consider the cost, for there is a consequence for every action we choose. Most of us are usually aware of who, what, when and where pressure to do wrong can surface. It is important that we surround ourselves with righteous friendships, the kind that provides goodness, security, and remembrance of Allah. The Quran encourages us to cultivate such relationships: “And keep your soul content with those who call on their Lord morning and evening, seeking His face, and let not your eyes pass beyond them, seeking the pomp and glitter of this Life; nor obey any whose heart We have permitted to neglect the remembrance of Us, one who follows his own desires, whose case has gone beyond all bounds.” [Quran 18:28]

When faith wanes in the presence of beneficial friendships, you find that you are surrounded by those who stand strong in front of you, beside you, and behind you providing much needed support. When it seems you might slip and fall, they are there with ropes of faith that tie around you and pull you up and onward. The Prophet  gave a beautiful analogy of this sort of friendship saying, “The good companion and the bad companion are like the bearer of musk and the one who pumps from the bellows. With the bearer of musk, he will give you a share, or you will buy from him, or you will smell a pleasant scent from him; but the one who pumps the bellows, either he will burn your clothes or you will smell a foul stench from him.”[Al-Bukhari and Muslim]

What About Your Friends?

We are most likely to be similar to those we spend the majority of our time with. As the Prophet  once said, “A person is likely to follow the faith of his friend, look (carefully) whom you choose to befriend.” (Ahmad) So what are some specific traits of sincere, loving, true friends?

They Help You to Become a Better and More Productive Person. A good and sincere friend actually inspires you, through his/her words or actions, to do self-reflection and to improve yourself.

He/She is Like a Mirror to You. The Prophet  stated, "The believer is like a mirror to other believers (in truthfulness)." [Abu Daawood]. Like a mirror's ability to cast a true reflection, so should your friend be true enough to give you an honest image of yourself. They should be able to for-give your mistakes, but not hide or exaggerate your strengths and weaknesses.

His/Her Manners and Lifestyle Remind You of Allah? The Prophet  was once asked, “Who is the best person to befriend?” He who helps you remember Allah, and reminds you when you forget Him," he wisely counseled. The Prophet  was also asked, "Who is best among people?" He replied, "He who, when you look at him, you remember Allah." A friend such as this reflects qualities of love, mercy, honesty, service, patience, optimism, professionalism, and the entire lifestyle taught by Islam.

Does He/She Love You Solely for the Sake of Allah? Often the friendships we have from school, work, and throughout our community may crumble over time if not initiated for the right reasons. A friendship based on Islamic principles is sincere and ever-lasting. It can be strengthened by a higher purpose and strong faith.

Do You Feel Comfortable and Secure in His/Her Presence? If you are in the midst of a friendship that leaves you feeling guilty about the things you do and the conversations you share, then it might be time to question the benefit of that relationship. Is the short time in this life with such a friend worth the consequences that you may ultimately have to face with Allah?

It is important that you have complete confidence in your values and beliefs. This makes setting limits and boundaries of what is acceptable and what is not acceptable much easier. You must be completely aware of your boundaries at all times. Above all, you must know what pleases and offends Allah. Friendships based on superficial principles can lead you to an artificial world of false hopes and illusion. There are two ways to handle a "toxic" friendship: either try gently to influence your friend through positive, Islamic inspiration, or simply to end the relationship. We are all familiar with the popular saying that every relationship that we encounter has "a season and a reason," meaning some friendships will stand the test of time and last a life-time, while others will be brief encounters. Every relationship has a valuable lesson for us to learn. When considering your friendships, remember the wise saying: “Being alone is better than having an evil companion; and having a sincere companion is better than being alone.” (Unknown)
http://www.islamweb.net/en/article/198784/the-company-we-choose-to-keep

And with Allaah lies all success and may Allaah send prayers and salutations upon our Prophet (sal-Allaahu `alayhe wa sallam) and his family and his companions.