بِسۡمِ ٱللَّهِ ٱلرَّحۡمَٰنِ ٱلرَّحِيمِ
Among the verbal good deeds is speaking kind words that do not harm. It is known that the words uttered by man are recorded and preserved in a book; My Lord neither errs nor forgets. This fact was stated in the Quran in the context of many situations and verses so that man may take himself to account and be mindful of his tongue. Allaah The Exalted Says (what means):
· {Man does not utter any word except that with him is an observer prepared [to record]} [Quran 50:18]
· {Or do they think that We hear not their secrets and their private conversations? Yes, [We do], and Our messengers are with them recording} [Quran 43:80]
There are many verses in this respect and the purpose is to make the slave realize that all that he utters is recorded – either for or against him. If he adheres to good words in all his conditions, nothing will be recorded in his book except goodness that pleases him on the Day of Resurrection and vice versa.
This is in compliance with the order of Allaah The Almighty, Who Orders His slaves to select the best expressions and the most beautiful words as He Says (what means): {And speak to people good [words]}[Quran 2: 83], i.e. when you speak to one another in order to spread affinity, affection and the spirit of brotherhood and to remove the reasons of abandonment, severance and enmity.
Yahya ibn Mu‘aath Ar-Raazi may Allaah have mercy upon him said, "Treat the believer in the following three manners in order to become among the good-doers; if you do not benefit him, do not harm him, if you do not please him, do not depress him and if you do not praise him, do not dispraise him."
Allaah The Exalted Says (what means): {And tell My servants to say that which is best. Indeed, Satan induces [dissension] among them. Indeed Satan is ever, to mankind, a clear enemy} [Quran 17:53] The prominent scholar ‘Abdul-Rahmaan ibn Naasir As-Sa‘di may Allaah have mercy upon him said, "It is from the Kindness of Allaah to His slaves that He ordered them to adhere to the best morals, deeds and words that bring about happiness in the life of this world and in the Hereafter. Allaah The Almighty Says (what means): {tell My servants to say that which is best} [Quran 17:53] This order encompasses all that may bring one closer to Allaah The Almighty such as reciting the Quran, remembrance of Him, seeking and disseminating knowledge, enjoining good, forbidding evil and good gentle words to all creatures regardless of their different levels and ranks. If one is to choose between two matters, Allaah The Almighty commands us to prefer the one that is the better of the two if it is difficult to combine both.
Good words call to good morals and righteous deeds. He who is able to control his tongue is able to control all his affairs.
{Indeed, Satan induces [dissension] among them} means that Satan endeavors among slaves to corrupt their religion and life. The only cure is not to obey him in speaking bad words that he calls them to and to soften their relations in order to suppress Satan, who induces dissension among them. He is their real enemy whom they should fight; he constantly calls on them {to be among the companions of the Blaze} [Quran 35:6].
Regarding their fellow Muslims, even if Satan induces dissension and seeks to spread enmity among them, they should strictly and firmly combat their enemy and suppress their souls that persistently enjoin evil through which Satan enters. In this way, they obey their Lord, their lives become upright and they are guided to the straight path." [Tafseer As-Sa‘di]
The people most worthy of being treated with kindness and noble morals are one's parents, to whom Allaah The Almighty enjoined dutifulness and kind treatment. This includes choosing good words when talking to them. Allaah The Exalted Says (what means): {And your Lord has decreed that you not worship except Him, and to parents, good treatment. Whether one or both of them reach old age [while] with you, say not to them [so much as], "uff," and do not repel them but speak to them a noble word} [Quran 17:23] Abu Hurayrah may Allaah be pleased with him narrated that,
"A man came to the Messenger of Allaah, sallallaahu `alayhi wa sallam ( may Allaah exalt his mention ) and said, ‘O Messenger of Allaah! Who is the most entitled to my good companionship?’ The Prophet sallallaahu `alayhi wa sallam ( may Allaah exalt his mention ) said: ‘Your mother.’ The man said, ‘Who is next?’ The Prophet sallallaahu `alayhi wa sallam ( may Allaah exalt his mention ) said: ‘Your mother.’ The man further said, ‘Who is next?’ The Prophet sallallaahu `alayhi wa sallam ( may Allaah exalt his mention ) said: ‘Your mother.’ The man asked for the fourth time, ‘Who is next?’ The Prophet sallallaahu `alayhi wa sallam ( may Allaah exalt his mention ) said: ‘Your father.’" [Al Bukhaari and Muslim]
In addition, ’Aa’ishah may Allaah be pleased with her narrated that the Messenger of Allaah, sallallaahu `alayhi wa sallam ( may Allaah exalt his mention ), said, "I saw (in a dream) that I entered Paradise and heard in it a recitation (of Quran). I asked, ‘Who is this?’ And it was said, ‘It is Haarithah ibn An-Nu‘maan.’ I said, ‘This is (the reward of) kindness (toward parents); this is kindness." [Al Haakim]
Many of our righteous predecessors were barely heard when talking to their mothers because they were keen to lower their voices out of politeness. How far removed were they from the young men and women nowadays, who treat their parents harshly, raise their voices at them, repel them and are unkind to them. They harm them with their ill logic to the extent that whoever sees them without knowing that these are their parents may imagine that they are servants working for the children because of the harshness and the cruel words used by the children with their parents. We ask Allaah The Almighty to guide them and us!
There is no doubt that soft words are needed also between spouses; as the base upon which houses are established is mercy and affection. Allaah The Exalted Says (what means): {And of His signs is that He created for you from yourselves mates that you may find tranquility in them; and He placed between you affection and mercy. Indeed in that are signs for a people who give thought} [Quran 30:21]
Spouses must choose for the other the best words to communicate and express feelings of love and mercy towards each other. Consider this affectionate Hadeeth (narration) between the Prophet, sallallaahu `alayhi wa sallam ( may Allaah exalt his mention ), and ’Aa’ishah may Allaah be pleased with her the Mother of the Believers:
’Aa’ishah may Allaah be pleased with her narrated that the Messenger of Allaah said to her: "‘I know when you are pleased with me or angry with me.’ I said, ‘How do you know that?’ He said: ‘When you are pleased with me, you say, “No, by the Lord of Muhammad,” but when you are angry with me, you say, “No, by the Lord of Ibraaheem.”’ Thereupon, I said, ‘Yes (you are right), but by Allaah, O Messenger of Allaah, I leave nothing but your name.’" [Al-Bukhaari and Muslim] What mercy is this and what great logic is this!
‘Ubayd ibn ‘Umayr said to ’Aa’ishah may Allaah be pleased with her tell us about the most remarkable behavior you saw from the Prophet, sallallaahu `alayhi wa sallam ( may Allaah exalt his mention ). She kept silent for a moment, then she said,
"One night the Prophet sallallaahu `alayhi wa sallam ( may Allaah exalt his mention ) said: ‘O ’Aa’ishah, let me worship my Lord tonight.’ I said, ‘By Allaah, I love being near you and I love what pleases you.’ He got up and purified himself. He stood up praying and he kept weeping till he wetted his lap, then he kept weeping till he wetted his beard and he kept weeping till he wetted the ground. Bilaal came to call for the prayer. When he saw him weeping, he said, ‘O Messenger of Allaah, why do you weep while Allaah has forgiven you all that passed and all that is to come of your sins?’ He replied: ‘Should I not be a thankful slave? A verse was revealed to me tonight; woe to the one who reads it and does not reflect upon it, it is the verse (which means): {Indeed, in the creation of the heavens and the earth and the alternation of the night and the day are signs for those of understanding}[Quran 3:190]’" [Ibn Hibbaan] [Al-Albaani: Saheeh]
Dear brother and sister, make your tongue used to good words and know that Allaah The Almighty does not allow the public mention of evil except in specific situations such as a genuine grievance. He Says (what means): {Allaah does not like the public mention of evil except by one who has been wronged. And ever is Allaah hearing and knowing.} [Quran 4:148] The Muslim should treat all people kindly, whether relatives or strangers, and get his tongue used to uttering good words and avoiding bad ones.
We ask Allaah The Almighty and Exalted to help us obey and please Him, to guide us in all our words and deeds, to inspire us to utter the right words and protect us from errors in words and deeds out of His bounty and generosity.
http://library.islamweb.net/emainpage/articles/170111/speak-kindly-to-people-i
http://www.islamweb.net/eramadan/index.php?page=articles&id=170113
